Power of the Pen: What Writing Has Done for Me
Ever since I was a little girl, when my world felt like it was spinning out of control, I'd pick up a pencil and note pad and write. Whether it was songs, thoughts or ideas, it always soothed my brain. Essentially, it was a transfer of energy (anxiety and fear) and as someone who grew up in a low socioeconomic status/set of households, it was an accessible form of therapy, as often the acting adults in my life took out their frustrations on me.
I began writing in the late 80's/early 90's and while I don't have those journals/writings today, I could make an educated guess on the contents. Like many children growing up in chaotic, 'broken' home environments (including divorce, re-marriage, etc), writing was my refuge. In addition to writing, listening to music was (and still is today, to a large extent!) another readily available therapy tool. I'd often write songs as a pre-teen, influenced by a plethora of musicians and bands. (When it comes to my mind, I laugh at the thought of those songs being recovered one day!)
Over the past several decades, my journal/writing practice has evolved in length and duration, but often looks quite similar: focusing on extracting the good from my experiences and appreciating kind acts towards me and others. The major difference for me as an adult versus child is that now I utilize my journals for self-reflection and a gratitude practice, returning to them when I need a morale or self-confidence boost. My writings provide clarity on relationships and also help grow as a person, as I glean self-awareness from them. Today, I'm far more flexible on my writing practice, not fretting if I miss a day or a week of writing, allowing myself grace. As the current state of the world is filled with a lot of pressure and noise, why add more self-pressure on writing - something I love!
On a funny note (and showing my age - haha!), while my nearly 8-year old self picked up a pencil in 1990, eventually I got a typewriter... and by the time I attended undergraduate college in the year 2000, I was writing/typing on a large desktop computer. If you've checked out my LinkedIn employment path, I do find it quite ironic, that my CPA employment endeavors eventually landed me in Silicon Valley, where I learned the deep history of technology, deepening my appreciation for writing/typing modalities.
Last summer, when I was predominately publishing on my ultraheidi.com domain and taking a summer class at Canada College, I integrated AI as my editor because it helped me manage an ever-bustling life and was a cost-effective way to edit my articles and quickly publish my content. I choose not to use AI today to edit my work for a few reasons: my skills as a writer have grown over the years and too much technology can overshadow my message. Since I've always been real and true to myself, I like not having too many suggestions/recommendations on my craft. Hey, it could change! But that's where I stand today.
Whether published publicly or kept private, may you find peace, therapy and comfort in your writing. If you're on the fence about sharing a writing piece (especially a controversial/'against the grain' piece), I've always thought: go ahead and publish it --> you'll never how one of your pieces will positively uplift and inspire someone who needs it and could benefit. Imagine if some of your favorite musicians and bands kept those iconic songs to themselves?! Who knows? Maybe you've got the next big theme song or writing piece that tip the scales and shift history and propel action. Time to get it on paper.
**I dedicate this blog to many individuals in three parts: 1.) the beautiful women in Southern California I met last November (of 2023), who offered me a beautiful, 'safe space' to discuss the injustices brought against me by many parties and openly discuss spirituality - true ohana (including Andrea, Christina & Liz) 2.) Seymour, the kind gentleman I met at LAX Union Station, (shortly after meeting these lovely ladies) in December (of 2023) who bought me food, drinks, listened to me and gave me a fresh tube of chap stick. (Funnily, Seymour asked me to board the bus to Vegas instead of Oakland (back home!), but I politely declined as I had business to take care of in Redwood City.) and 3.) one of my former therapists, whom I did extensive counseling sessions with a few years ago, addressing deep-rooted childhood trauma. After reviewing several of my writing pieces, he provided me feedback and commented how I was one of the best writers he'd ever come across. He's had faith in me since the beginning and I have no doubts I'll be publishing and distributing my books soon! Time will tell!
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