Kindred Connections / Deep Lessons From Humankind

 Aloha! And Happy New Year!

As I've mentioned in my prior posts, I've crossed paths with a plethora of individuals, who are either employed by or manage/own companies, in nearly every industry you can imagine. Whether they became long-term connections or not, they've all left an imprint on me. Even from individuals who deceived me, I learned something. However, I choose to remember, with gratitude, primarily the series of consistent, positive & authentic exchanges I've had with certain folks who have been on my journey to date.

From the humble real estate tycoon/CEO, David, I met in early 2009 to the struggling, former addict, Curtis, I met in early 2023, my natural ability and curiosity to connect deeply with people is one of my best personal assets. It's not about paper qualifications/credentials of someone that impresses me the most; it's what's beyond the surface. Most people can obtain qualifications/degrees these days, in some format or another, but not everybody who practices with the same type of license chooses the good moral/right actions in life. I mean, watch "The Big Short" (2015 film) for an clear example of this!

For me, it's what's beyond the paper/surface/'game face' - all the details that make up a person's character - which define who they truly are. Essentially, what they've done with what they've had. How many times they’ve picked themselves up and got back at it, despite, seemingly, insurmountable odds. And all the details that you won't glean from a LinkedIn profile or Google search. For example, David (whom is included in my first book - still unpublished - you'll just have to wait!), is an incredible musician who can seamlessly blend into Dolores Park, to enjoy the casual vibe (just like me!) Albeit, his vintage of Vueve Clicquot may be a 'tad' older than most park patrons! :)

Curtis was an all-star rock climber in Yosemite National Park back in the day (who showcased much better than any skills I've ever shown on rocks!), who unfortunately manages PTSD (just like me). When he discovered I was training for the Ultraman Hawaii World Championships in 2023, he offered to follow me safely up Tunitas Creek road for a run last summer. He's had many adventures in Las Vegas and keeps a nice fuzzy dice in his car!

Reflecting on my positive connections during this period of uncertainty (including meeting both David and Curtis), has provided me with peace, laughter and faith it'll all work out.

A (now!) funny, share on the topic of humankind --> Because I was in a 23-year committed relationship (Sept, 2000 - Sept, 2023), I never once considered the notion that other men and women were romantically interested in me or viewed me as more than a friend/connection. I figured they appreciated me (both as a person and my volunteer contributions), but never viewed our relationship other than platonic friendship, as I did. (If you're interested in picture proof, check out my old Instagram handles "Ultraheidi" and "Nutrition by Heidi". Yep, most of those people deserted me, at a time of need last year - or worse: strung me along, lied to me & started rumors. Eventually, I had to cut ties - sadly, with connections I'd known for decades.)

Several months ago, I could see these relationships through a very clear lens, thanks to a few individuals in my life who were able to shine a light on some of these people's actions/in-actions in my case. Their advice/insight paired with physical distance from the narcissistic network of people in my life, provided me intense clarity. Yes, it turns out I had some 'secret' and 'not-so-secret' admirers! For better or worse, my past experiences and how people interacted with me in the past made so much more sense to me. Learning to tier relationships and decipher professional versus true friendship in relationships was an incredibly challenging, important takeaway from 2024.

My previous line of thinking may sound naive to you, but as a young girl, growing up predominately in a poor set of households (parental and maternal grandparent's), I fell for the fabled "Prince Charming" story (also sold by Disney and many people in my life, as many can related to!). Funnily, when I was a young girl, my great-grandmother, Pauline, told me I would marry Prince William when I was older.

I was loyally committed to my marriage /entrapment the entire time I was in it only to discover afterward, he wasn't. Unfortunately, this is a common scenario in many relationships these days. And as someone who has always approached life with faith and love, but was in numerous abusive environments, since I was born, I still grew up to believe many people would do the 'right' thing, because I had hope. This hope grew strong as I navigated through life in my early 20s and met some impressive, well-educated professionals and made friends. It was an unfortunate realization last year to see true colors of some long-term connections —> see, I thought I left 'scum' people behind in my hometown, so it surprised me to realize/reflect that I had invited and included (and was surrounded by!) scum (this time - many had PhDs, JDs and dressed better.) Live & learn, I suppose!

In the end, I decided other's harmful actions wouldn't change me / my principles and how deeply I love others (true courage). I recently mentioned to a few contacts, today I am the same person/"Heidi" I've always been, except, in addition to the the incredible "street-education" the universe sent my way 14 months ago, I've added two attributes: boundaries & style.

**This blog is dedicated to my worker friends at Abundant Grace in Half Moon Bay - I sure do miss y’all! Whether cutting up strawberries in the kitchen with Spiro or riding bikes with Michael & Melissa up Tunitas Creek Road, it was all beautiful memories created and I will forever treasure them in my heart.**

May your 2025 already be off to a wonderful start!

With Aloha,

Heidi