Aloha Februrary!

 Aloha Friends,

The month of February is officially upon us. With seemingly endless topics to delve into, let's start with love, as Valentine's Day is quickly approaching. Even though it's considered a Hallmark holiday, I have always enjoyed celebrating this day. Simply put -> it's focused on love. 

On the subject of love, which is often misunderstood, it's important to note a few things in order to experience healthy, long-standing relationships. From a self-preservation and positive mental health viewpoint, the most critical lessons that I have learned on my journey, include both maintaining boundaries and distinguishing between 'loving acts' and 'unconditional' love. Often manipulative people will provide loving acts and words, yet also commit actions, which promote negative/bad emotions within your body, such as guilt and shame, in order to keep you in their life.

If this is the case, you are better left to be a lone wolf than someone's co-dependent accessory. While this is a difficult truth to face, once you have enough self-awareness (often crafted by opting for solo development versus groupthink/“following the crowd”), it's your responsibility to revisit these relationships. I have deep compassion and empathy for those folks who need to cut out toxic family and if this is the case for you, reader, I wish you the strength to do it.

Now, let's talk about that rare love: the soul-match kind!

True, authentic soulmate love is rare and should be cherished, but ultimately allowing each other to freely move within the relationship is key to success. Keep in mind, that no relationship is perfect, and there’s most likely a need for space at times, because this type of love can be intense, once found. As far as longevity, over the years, I've only observed two marriages lasting several decades, where I think: "Yes, that couple truly has it!" As I know a lot of people, I'll leave that to your imagination to guess the couples, dear reader. The common denominators in those relationships include understanding, flexibility and beauty. Whether spoken or unspoken, common rules of engagement are helpful to keep yourselves on the same page. To put it comically, in the sexual sense, I recently heard a comedian reference the importance of 'd**ktalk' or in more child-friendly terms: "pillowtalk".

Aloha is often used as an exchanged word for love. But what does it really mean?

For those of you “word-meaning appreciating” connoisseurs, the literal translation of "aloha" in Hawaiian is: "the presence of breath" or "breath of life". So, in greeting, it's often a very nice way of sharing a present moment with someone.

May you be blessed to experience the spectrum of love, including platonic friendships and long-term partnerships. Whether you met your soulmate in Kindergarten, are married to your high school sweetheart or have had a more in-depth experience like me (experiencing heart-shattering rejection to finding absolute, long-standing love), I wish you the best.

With Aloha & Good Vibes,

Heidi