Self-Reflections: Inner Strength & Overdue Justice

 Dear Reader,

As I sit here with hope in my heart and overall feeling more like myself, I pause in self-reflection.

It is downright beyond criminal that as a victim of multiple heinous crimes, I have still not been bestowed justice to this day.

It is also both incredibly remarkable and truly unfortunate, on this day, I need to increasingly protect my physical location address and personal phone number during the settling of my legal cases, despite continuously showing up for court appearances in the state of California. Recently, a few people mentioned my own misdemeanor cases will be the most ridiculously managed in the history of California! Yes, after the unbelievable actions and inactions of all parties involved in my case, I’d have to unfortunately, undoubtedly agree.

As someone who prioritizes character and faith over reputation and greed, I have full confidence I will ultimately win the war launched against my son & I. For me to still respect a set of systems that continuously disrespects me, says a ton about my character and morale compass and the perpetuators’ collective lack of humanity. After all I have suffered to date and the financial contributions from friends, I'd say I/we're overdue.

Nowadays, when asked if I'm in the military, after mentioning to folks I manage intermittent PTSD, I not only answer: "My entire life has felt like a military sentence.", but "When do I get my retirement package?" Not only am I due my share of community assets from my 25+ year marriage/entrapment situation, but so much more from both the states of CA, CT and MA and the US Gov't. In addition, the many other parties involved in this corrupt ring!

When he was 6 years old, my son used to ask me who the richest person in the world is... I have a feeling when he asks me in a year from now, it could be his mama! If it were up to him :-) The extreme irony is I’ve never been fully motivated by money nor ever felt the need to manipulate others over it, but you bet I will sprinkle some f u money where it’s deserved, when I obtain it. I've thought a lot about it and the ultimate reason I'd want Bezo's bank account is to be able free good people and give them a taste of the good life. It's time the tables are turned, right? At the quicksand rate this country/world is sinking (on many levels), we are truly running out of time to stage a worldwide rebellion.

On the note of money, I taught my son the difference between rich and wealth a long time ago, explaining you could be "rich" in dollars, but truly not "wealthy" in living. It was so cute when he'd ask "Mama, is ---- rich or wealthy?" And without hesitation, I'd sometimes answer: "wealthy", but I don't think rich. As a parent who wanted to instill the right values and morals, yet surrounded by "unbelievable to most" bank accounts and elitist attitudes, it was always a challenge to navigate financial conversations in the Bay Area. It's hard to avoid, no doubt, and you can't ignore talking about it, even to curious 4 year olds, who ask questions. I did the best I could to navigate this taboo area of money and when my son asked me about clients during the pandemic, I gently asked him "why do you care so much about how much money?" He said "oh, mama, I love numbers." His response sounded both funny and sweet to me at the time because that was one of the reasons I opted to be an accountant: I love numbers.

What's next reader? Do I really need to act upon the ammo I am sitting on? My ammo is not full of lead. It is full of ink and pencil markings, filling multiple journals, foraged from years of misdoings and satanic impositions on my life. This time, I will not be silenced.

After graduating kindergarten from Trinity School in Menlo Park, CA, when I asked my son what his favorite part was... he enthusiastically answered: "The changemakers, Mama!" and listed Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks as his favorite examples. Well on that note, reader, why don't we all work together and be changemakers, together? Maybe then, God will Bless America. Because, from where I sit, after several conversations, I predict an apocalyptic future is certainly heading our way and an almost-definite possibility, at this point, if justice is not served and people do not act.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

As you may sense from my blog, I love embracing positivity and focus on the good. If you're a true changemaker or want to be, please comment below and I'll give you credit, because I sure do like to give credit, where true credit is due. Ask any of my previous clients, employers, staff, seniors and community members. Or businesses! :-)

In the spirit of music, hope & empowerment, I've crafted multiple new Spotify stations - click here to access. Today, I woke up with this song, thinking of the collective fight of the good people: both American and worldwide citizens.

May justice be served not only for my son & I, but others who are in similar situations.

With Aloha,

Heidi