They said what?? Navigating Rough Waters, in a Very Loud World.

 Aloha & Happy Friday, Reader!

It has become increasingly evident to me how many (disguised) weak people I surrounded myself with over the years. By weak, I am referencing the quality of thier character. Two of the majorly weak characteristics being their obvious lack of skill in navigating simple scenarios and their complex responses to simple questions. At this point, it's incredibly obvious to me based on the responses of individuals, they clearly have not worked through real, serious problems. While these may sound like harsh statements & judgements, they are rooted in years of observation, an often (over-extended) grace on my part and conversations with thousands of people.

Over the past year I've had to navigate many “crazy-to-most” scenarios and situations, and also identify true support, love and friendship in my life. Simply put: who deserves a seat inside my arena: whether front or upper seating, and who doesn't even deserve to be begging outside with a Solo cup for loose change (ironically, many former millionaires, billionaires & relatives I've met are included in this group).

When I sit and review what certain people have said to me, especially given the context and circumstances, I used to be blown away.... now I reflect: 'how sad'.

Because it's Friday, let's list a few here, shall we! Once traumatized by this gross behavior, I’ve proudly transmuted this energy into empowerment & use them to make examples of how not to treat others.

1. Harsh emails & texts from former triathlon teammates, including: 'how could I leave my ex, when we have a child.. under any circumstances.' and 'no, sorry, can't help you with medical leave paperwork, I've got things to do." (September & October, 2023)
   
2. Refusals to bring running shoes and my favorite coffee while hospitalized at El Camino Hospital (September, 2023) from my former triathlon "team"? Are you noticing a theme in behavior with this “ultra cult”, as I jokingly referred to this group last summer.
3. A very lame excuse to not buy me a $25 Whole Foods gift card so I could subsidize my dried goods and make smoothies in my apartment (late 2023). This was extra disappointing as I asked a relative to buy me this card and she's also a Whole Foods employee. **During this time, I was waiting on another retirement check to refill my bank account and didn't want to use credit cards.

I've come to the conclusion many Bay Area elitists & various others were willing to sell their souls to the devil to sell me out - how cheap, right? I am one of the few people who cannot be bought by the devil. And gosh, even though that mentality has left me starving hungry and cold many times on my journey, I refused to ever sell my body on the streets, opting for soup kitchens instead. While I did have a few interesting monetary interactions regarding interest in my feet pics, sorry, but not sorry, folks, the price has gone WAY UP. On the plus side, my unwavering principles and courage led me to find true, authentic & protective love.

Sadly, in late 2023, human trafficking was one conclusive theory presented to me by a few people, after hearing my story. When I reflected on past events and prior conversations in my life, especially occurring during my younger years, sadly, I pondered this possibility. I’ve experienced abuse ever since I can remember and the sequence of events and subsequent cover-up makes sense, if this indeed was/is the case.

Despite being labeled "crazy” by a corrupt county, I never chased down any theories, including human trafficking and unethical government experimentation, another determination a few people mentioned. While curious myself, I’ve never taken more than a few hours to fully explore in-depth any of these theories about any of the BS I've encountered - that's enough to make any sane person go crazy, isn't?! I’d think so! Rather than chase down fairly-educated theories, I briefly entertained them, then returned to myself, following my path of faith, love and eventually, this rebuild, where I stand today.

Maybe by now you understand my expanded, deep desire for peace & justice? Let me ask you: if your world was flipped upside down 15 months ago, including your child taken from you (& then subsequently given custody to an abusive party) and in addition, you suffered multiple assaults & unrelenting harassment, encountering an almost non-stop monumental heap of BS like me, you’d stop at nothing for answers, wouldn’t you? Exactly.

With Good Weekend Vibes,

Heidi