Treasured 1-1s: Christopher

 Aloha Reader!

One of the gentlemen, Christopher, featured in my 1-1 book has held many professions, just like I have. We are both ultra endurance athletes, with East Coast upbringings and share similar values and priorities (especially with our children). One major difference, though, is he has 100% more tattoos than me! :) And can probably outdo me in the 'push up' department. He was featured in a documentary project, for Epic5 Challenge, in late 2019/2020. Unfortunately, the movie never made it to final production and release, due to a lack of funding, which often happens with this type of movie genre. To further add to economic pressures, this film had unfortunate production timing, as the 2020 pandemic hit mid-filming. On the upside, as part of this project, during 2020, I was introduced to film director extraordinaire, Andrew Morgan, and his staff during a Zoom interview. We discussed my e5 role as both an on-site nutritionist and crew chief for their third ever female finisher in 2017. Despite this project resulting in an unfinished movie, I feel fortunate to have met them, especially during the Pandemic… which provided a fun focus during an incredibly stressful time.

So now, let’s take a deeper dive into inspiration for my 1-1 book & how I met Christopher…

After I finished the initial draft of my book: "Unconventional Therapy: Lessons & Takeaways from My Most Treasured 1-1s" in early August 2024, I became acutely aware of harmful actions that our shared ultra contacts/network had done to me. From a survival “move forward” perspective, I was forced to accept our shared connections were not who I thought they were. Despite helping me in some ways, one person was blatantly lying to me... even saying she didn't know my ex was British! This struck me as odd given we’d known each other for many years by this point, but at the time, I simply filed a mental note. Also, she sent me screenshots of her bank account. Collectively, she exhibited lot of strange behavior last year. As the kids say today: "the math didn't math"... referring to none of her words & actions making sense. The “math” of what was being said to me, while I was in a barely ‘head above water’ situation, simply didn't add up. During that time, though, without an accessible penny to my name, I accepted subpar treatment from people.

This is why, before the book is published, I debate the title of 'Treasured’ versus "Revealing" 1-1s - we'll see! I've also realized that people share what they want to share with you (in the literary sense, think Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde). Unfortunately, this is where greedy & manipulative people have shown me one side and when didn’t get what they want from me (time, attention, etc) their true colors strongly showed, many taking advantage of me. Generally, in a normal, respected relationship or simple conversation, the content of what people share with you depends on their comfort/safety level with you... well, I am a trusting person, but as Al Capone said: “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” Yes, this sentiment certainly applies to me. While certain parties & people have tried to silence me over the years, I now understand their intentions and greedy motivations behind unforgivable, immoral behavior.

OK- Let's dive into my ‘nothing-but-positive’ interactions with Chris. For the next three days, I'll give you a daily glimpse of some of the good hearts I've met on my journey. 

Also, something fun to note: A few months ago, it occurred to me I could be an eulogist, MC or matchmaker, given how many people I've met in my life and how much I’ve learned about them! When I was active on the Instagram platform, I'd often comment how easy it was to make assumptions about a person, based one post or one video. When I say how much I learned about them, I am referring to spending physical or virtual hours getting to know them, like in a driver's seat (how I got to really know Chris in March of 2018.) :-)

The setting: the inaugural 50k event for Epic5 Challenge on the picturesque Hawaiian islands. Chris' role as CEO of Epic5 Challenge was to oversee the event and he also planned on running it himself. In the simplest sense, my role, as a nutritionist, was to feed & hydrate the athletes. Before the event, as part of Kauai course recon/warm-up, Chris went on a test run, slipped and gashed his knee pretty badly. As part of my designated driver/chef/nutritionist role, Chris was assigned to my car, as he could no longer run in the event. It was cool to learn about his experience with the organization (especially, as a finisher of the classic event!). He was ultra-supportive of my mission to build my nutrition business. 

After few days of conversation in between crewing, feeding and shuttling athletes, he offered me a promotional speaking spot to advertise my nutrition services. Post-event, it would take place on the Big Island, at the participant/finisher banquet. Unfortunately, I suffered a PTSD flare-up while on Maui, our stop before the Big Island, and I couldn't muster the words/strength to promote my budding business. (Sadly, although I maintained composure and attended the celebration banquet dinner with the group, I was internally hyperventilating at the belt buckles, triggered by unresolved past trauma.)

I’ve never shared this part of my story publicly, rather I felt a lot of embarrassment internally and it would take 4 years for me to understand what fully happened, during a therapy session. In a nutshell, I got very triggered on Maui and combined with a lack of sleep and accumulated exhaustion, I “crashed” into a fearful state on the Big Island. I will never forget how professionally and gently Chris managed the situation, allowing me to sleep on the floor a few times in two of our home rentals, without making me feel 'weird' about it. Even though he probably mentioned it to me, I wasn't aware of his military service until I discovered his LinkedIn profile after this trip. His compassion made a world of difference to me then and today I will never forget it. (After this trip, I did get some articles published on my experiences with Epic5 Challenge on "An Organic Conversation", but I chose to focus on the positive elements, not touching on my PTSD/ mental health setback.)

About six weeks after I returned from this adventure with Epic5Challenge, Kiluea erurpted and lava flowed right through the neighborhood about 30 miles away from where our staff house was located… wow! I got on a few calls and provided thoughts and business outline for future e5 Challenge events. Last summer, I realized how much free labor I was giving away! As a matter of fact, I've lost personal funds with this organization time and time again. As much as I loved my involvement and making liasons with Special Olympics in the summer of 2023 (meeting Tracy & crew!), not focusing on giving away my time to self-serving contacts, has freed up time for my personal endeavors and rebuild today.

I'd like to dedicate this post to the wonderful small business owners I met on all five islands and farmers on Molokai, who sold me incredibly fresh smoothie ingredients!

Reminding myself periodically that good men and women do exist is empowering and a source of gratitude for me. Chris is no exception! Even though we've lost direct touch, I do think of his family, which includes his beautiful wife, two boys and girl and wish him well on the East Coast. After the inaugural Epic5 Ultra Run, Chris sent me a note card of appreciation, which I extra enjoyed as an 'old skool' pen, paper and stamp kinda woman! :-)

As for some of the others I met on this adventure - whether or not, we sync professionally in the future.. they enforced a powerful lesson for me with both their positive interactions and (unfortunately, for many) their lack of support in the fall of 2023... people come into your life for a season, a decade or simply a few minutes... so treasure the time you do spend with "good vibe" interactions. 

My closing advice: In a world filled with unnecessary, hasty judgement, never assume someone's entire story & intentions, based on your limited interaction, social media postings or even worse, listening to secondhand rumors! Instead, focus on building relationships with extra good folks who cross your path, like Chris!

With Aloha,

Heidi