Treasured 1-1s: Red Bulls with Donovan

Happy Taco Tuesday, Amigos y Amigas!

Today, I’m sharing a wonderful connection I made in late December of 2023: Donovan. While I don't keep in direct touch with many of the folks I've met along my journey, including Donovan, when I when I think of truly good people I've met, he's a definite standout. (A major reason for not keeping in touch with many folks is having had to change phone numbers so often and the need for privacy, as you can probably understand!)

Of all places, I met Donovan at a Santa Barbara bus stop on my way to an overnight stay at the Best Western in San Diego! :) We didn't have many resources on us, but between his $10, my bag of hot Cheetos and an Uber gift certificate, we enjoyed two beers in downtown Ventura. 

After we shared beers in downtown Ventura, his dad picked us up and drove us to his family's compound / living area in Santa Paula (my first visit to this city!). His mom, Rachel, reheated some lasagna and being the coffee nerd I am, I offered my Big Island coffee beans, but unfortunately, they don't own a grinder, so I couldn't contribute to this unexpected ohana family meal.

The major things Donovan did for me were to share much-needed laughs and actively listen to me. After I spoke my story to date, shedding many tears, he commented: "Wow, it sounds like you have a major lawsuit..." I spent overnight at his place and the next day, his next-door family member gave me $2 to buy coffee. It was an all-around very supportive experience and I couldn't help but contact my therapist immediately afterwards and say: "Steve, you would not believe the situations I am comfortable in now..." Funny, but it truly felt like an intro to (good!) bad boys. Understanding my frustrations to date, Steve asked if I were heading to Mexico and gosh darn.. that would have been a nice thing, but no ultimately, I returned up to Redwood City, via Amtrak.

Fast forward to April of 2024, and again, I felt myself at the end of my rope with the Bay Area, hearing nothing but lawyer excuses and not given straight answers to simple inquiries. I had spent the past six months rebuilding my life, including purchasing a used car, building my apartment and independent life, only to be repeatedly disrespected. It was another time in my life when the math simply didn’t math. Hearing phrases like “courts always follow the therapist report” but didn’t and reporting prior abusive incidents and parental neglect on my exes’ side, yet again, but with no resolution, tested my patience to an all-time high. When I mention to folks that I was outcasted and economically forced to leave my home by a corrupt county, I am not exaggerating one bit.

After a tearful hug with a new resident in my building and an intense confrontation with a bullying neighbor in mid-April, I needed a mental health break stat. I packed my car with supplies and clothing to embark on a 5-night trip to relax with my pup, Bruno Mars. I chose modest accommodations in the Russian River Valley, with intentions to return for my next court appearance. However, after 5 days away and dwindling resources, ultimately I chose myself - my mental health. What had the past 8 months taught me? If I didn’t prioritize myself, no one would.

I couldn’t have predicted how the next 4 months would pan out. For me, peace of mind was top of mind and each of my steps was taken in faith. If my story is starting to sound like I escaped a cult, you wouldn’t be the first to mention that theory to me.

After 10 days of enjoying quiet times and fresh air with my pup, Bruno Mars, in both the Russian River Valley and Little River, CA, I calculated my funds would deplete soon and I’d have enough gas to make it 500-600 miles.

For our next safe place, I debated on where to go and narrowed it down to either Ashland, Oregon, where I had met a nice family on my Seattle road trip in March, or Southern California, and ultimately decided to use the last of my resources to visit Donovan and his family. You could imagine his surprise when I showed up with my Berner puppy, a bag of ground coffee and mug for him. We quickly caught up and the next morning, after sleeping in my car with my puppy, I got a free meal down the street and visited with his mom, Rachel, again. Rachel and I could talk for hours - she's so sweet! 

Anyway, that's all the details I'll share on this platform, including how/where we got the Red Bulls, mentioned in the blog title! I do hope Donovan and his family are doing well.

With Aloha,

Heidi