Fall 2022: Embracing my Writer Self

Feliz Miércoles, Reader,

It wasn't until the fall of 2022 when I began to dig into producing my rawest works of art in the writing field. With the encouragement of Steve King, who kindly told me I was one of the best writers he'd come across, mentioning he counseled thousands over people during his career, I was inspired to produce many works of art (articles). 

Steve complimented me on how I “got in so deep” through the written words on my pages and often provided feedback on my submissions. Despite me telling him I could never write about traumas past age 8, because it felt too painful at the time, it was very helpful to share my writings with him, from a therapeutic sense. I mentioned to him everyone should write down their story, whether or not they share it. Why? The more you know your story the more you can own it. And noted to him the only reason I did not fully publish my story is that I didn't want to make "people feel bad". Amazing, isn't it? How I protected the very people that were supposed to protect me, yet they knowingly and willfully caused me decades of almost-irreversible traumas, and instilled shame and guilt on me ever since I was a baby, utilizing Catholicism against me. True works of the devil. Then these same people had the nerve to harass me multiple times after I left my ex in October of 2023 and continued to do so while I was living in my car during the summer of 2024.

Let's now shine a light on the positive aspects of this writing time period…

As a daily practice during this time, I'd review all of my works and extract certain articles to publish on my ultraheidi.com website, with the intent of helping others on their mental health, spiritual and physical health journeys. For my more personal works of art, I kept those private (for example the letter to a rich kid who took advantage of me at age 15). I always contemplated how much I wanted to really share with my public audience and reflecting, I am glad I kept my extra private writings between Steve & I, because gosh, the world deserves nothing for free from me ever again, based on the collective awful treatment of certain individuals, institutions and agencies.

Often, Steve would with joke me on how I could not own a printer, as he printed off every document I sent him, often in advance of our counseling sessions so we could discuss on call. My writings added volumes to an increasingly large stack, which he showed me on Zoom one time. Practically speaking, I told him I utilize my local Fedex office to print documents, if I needed to, as my smallish condo couldn't easily fit in a printer. Also, I mentioned to him he had better grab the right stack of "Heidi Buttery" documents if he were to announce me at the 2023 Ultraman World Championships! Hahaha! A dark humor joke, but often we kept a lightness to our calls, despite discussing heavy topics.

Since I was also heavy deep into mom & household duties, plus managing work, training and volunteering, I often wrote in the early hours of the day: between 4-6am. If it was a morning I was not doing school drop off and didn't have immediate CPA work responsibilities, I'd shower quickly, get ready and continue my writing practice at nearby Coupa Cafe or Philz Coffee until 10am. I hit the keys so hard on my Apple laptop that I bought a new one a few months later. This primary Apple laptop was also used to manage household finances, volunteer work and operate my Zwift cycling program so it had taken an extensive beating by mama over the years!

Due to the September 2023 two-factor authentication mess, I lost access to these documents from 2022, but the material is still fairly fresh on my mind, if I choose to recall it. Ultimately, I'm not afraid to rebuild and recreate new documents in their place. I wasted too much time getting blackballed by Google techies in October of 2023 who 'couldn't help me' re-access docs. Ultimately, that's OK, Google is increasingly "old news" to me anyway, as I migrate away from the product suite. Ha! Better apps and platforms to get to.

When I mentioned to people I'm a writer a few months ago and they asked about where I was published, I mentioned mostly online, but you bet my hardcovers will hit the shelf by 2026. I publicly declared in January of 2024 that I would be a full-time writer within one year. In January 2024, I never would have predicted my first full draft of a book {excluding my nutrition workbook} would be written while sitting in my 2019 Alfa Romeo, while being harassed by disgusting men and police officers, yet here I am. You bet, I'll have books published by next year. What do you think, reader? Do you have other predictions? This year could be fun for a few summer releases. Please comment below with your thoughts.

To all the beautiful, supportive souls who mentioned they will read my books (including my match.com date in Palo Alto in late 2023 - haha!), THANK YOU! And to all the beautiful souls I mentioned that you'll get my books for free (over the past year), you know I keep my word (Miss Jennifer Stowe... thinking of you first as I type this blog! When I gave Facebook a final chance a few months ago, I couldn't friend you as you were maxed out at 1,000 friends... but I did get to see your cutie pie dog and see you shine in some pretty photos.).

Have a lovely day, folks.

Hope you enjoyed this bonus blog! Energy flows where attention goes, right? So let's minimize the negativity and focus on positive, healthy vibes as much as we can today.

With Aloha,

Heidi